Ah the joys of pre-holiday season consumption in America!
I made the mistake of cutting through the mall (to go see the outdoor Christmas tree) with my kids yesterday. Much to my horror, Santa was not only highly visible--even from the second floor of the mall--but also completely available. My four year old seized the moment and before I knew it I was asking the cheerful teenager selling the photo packages if Santa took plastic. "Of course he does," she answered, "this is America!."
Yes indeed it is. And now I endure three times a day tug-of-wars between my children over who gets to carry which of the preposterous eight pieces of the absurd photo package of Ben's flashing his grimace grin into which of the already overflowing with all manners of crap rooms of my now worth less than half of what I paid for it five years ago house.
"Wait...is that noise coming from the washing machine...
"Daddy...it looks like an ocean in here..."
mysantapicsnightmare.com will prove nothing compared to my buyanewwasheranddryer.com nightmare.
"It's that most wonderful time of the year.."
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